


Bring me the Horizon

by Emerald2402



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Drug Use, F/M, Romance, Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:06:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24184852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emerald2402/pseuds/Emerald2402
Summary: So far university had been amazing. Three months of screaming music, sex, drugs and everything in between. Yeah my mother was still an overbearing shrew, but she's easy to drown out when music is screaming in my ears, even easier to drown out when I'm high as a kite. Hermione Granger on the other hand... not so easy to drown out.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	1. SLEEPWALKING

**Author's Note:**

> So I was listening to some Bring me the Horizon and this fic just started pouring out of me and I couldn't shake it. SO! Here we go. Each chapter is named after and based on the lyrics from a Bring me the Horizon song that I'll post at the beginning of each chapter and before we go any further... THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE THEMES, DRUG ABUSE, NON EXPLICIT SEX, CHEATING AND AN OVERDOSE. So any of this isn't your cup of tea or you don't want to read an OOC Hermione Granger... please, this isn't for you, maybe I'll meet you at another fic :)
> 
> Enjoy!!!

**_ CHAPTER 1 – SLEEPWALKING _ **

**_**My skin’s smothering me_ **

**_Help me find a way to breathe**_ **

****

* * *

****

“Draco Lucius Malfoy!” Mother’s voice was a quiet buzz in the background despite the fact she was stood in my doorway and obviously shouting at me. With a disinterested flick of my wand, the volume of the music dropped away to nothing and Mother’s shout cut off abruptly.

“Mother?” I questioned, raising my eyebrow as I tossed an old snitch into the air.

“What in Merlin’s name is that awful racket?” Mother asked, her eyes widening as they roved over me.

“Music Mother,” I drawled.

“And what are you wearing?” Mother continued and I looked down at myself. Black jeans with fraying rips artfully placed down my thighs to my knees, my tee-shirt was black with a band logo splashed across the chest and on my feet I wore black boots that laced to my shins.

“Nothing too crazy Mother… Not when you compare it to what dear Aunt Bella used to wear,” I muttered closing my eyes as I let last night flood my memory.

“Draco,” Mother admonished and I groaned sitting up and shaking my hair out as I moved to the vanity. “Draco! Your hair,” Mother gasped and I smirked at the reflection of myself. I’d let Blaise convince me to change my hair and I loved it. Where my hair had been long enough to reach my shoulders before and I’d started pulling it back like my Father had, now I wore it loose, allowing it to fall as it liked, which wasn’t as troubling when one side was shaved close to my head.

“Mother, did you come here for anything other than to admonish me for my music taste, my clothes and my general self?” I asked quietly, fixing my mother with a look that let her know exactly what I thought of her complaints.

“Where were you last night?” Mother questioned.

“There was a party at the dorm and then we went to a gig,” I answered simply.

“A what?” Mother’s eyebrows hiked up into her hairline and I rolled my eyes.

“A gig Mother. I went to see a band play,”

“Oh, anyone I know?”

“Not unless you’re familiar with the muggle band Bring me the Horizon,” I said under my breath but Mother heard me and her gaze hardened.

“Draco. You missed a perfectly good meeting with the Greengrass family for muggle screaming?” Mother admonished.

“Well Mother, since my brain screams at me anyway when I’m in this house, I may as well provide it with a backing track right? I’m not getting married, you can’t force me, I’m head of the family,” I said simply and then I flicked my wand at the stereo and the sound returned full force drowning out my mother’s noise of indignantion.

“… _my skin’s smothering me, help me find a way to breathe…_ ” The words washed over me with disturbing accuracy and I fell back onto my bed trying to drown out the responsibilities I apparently had now my Father had passed.

A jaguar patronus prowled into my room and I sat up, lowering the music as the Jaguar’s mouth opened and spoke with Blaise’s voice.

“Draco… You need to come out tonight, there’s something you need to fucking see.” With that the patronus faded away and I smirked as I pulled a happy memory of curly hair, caramel skin and sinful black painted lips and cast the charm. A wolf burst from the tip of my wand and shook out it’s fur before glancing at me.

“I’m good for whatever, you know this, meet you at the dorms at 8,” I spoke and then the wolf bounded off and I checked my watch sighing as I realised it was only 2pm.

* * *

“Hey mate,” Blaise said with a cocky grin as he let me into his dorm room. With a grin I threw myself onto the spare bed that Blaise said was mine when I decided to actually live in where we were studying, then I noticed the girl that was sitting on Blaise’s bed. She had black hair that looked like it had been dipped in blood, her eyes were lined with black and her lips were the colour of her red hair, then I noticed her nose.

“Pansy?” I gasped as I recognised her.

“In the flesh… It’s been a while,” Pansy said with a soft smile and I just looked back at Blaise.

“Care to explain?” I questioned as the man himself chucked on a black shirt and clipped a choker around his neck.

“We met yesterday. You know this place has a record for accepting witches and wizards. Pansy came to tell me off for my noise level,” Blaise grinned and I rolled my eyes, not wanting to ask what kind of noise he was making because Pansy wasn’t a lily-livered witch who’d get annoyed at a bit of rock, by the looks of it, she would have enjoyed it.

“I don’t think you’ll get a second chance with that girl if I’m honest Blaise,” Pansy said with a smirk and I groaned.

“I really could have gone my whole life not knowing that Pans,” I said softly. Pansy shrugged and then Blaise was ready.

“Quick shot for the road?” Blaise questioned, holding out a bottle of Firewhiskey. With a grin I took a quick gulp, savouring the cinnamon burn as Blaise gripped my wrist and Pansy’s waist and apparated us away.

We appeared around the corner from the student union and Blaise dragged us inside as we flashed our ID to the bouncers and moved into the pushing crowd. From here it was easy to lose myself in the noise and alcohol and by the time Blaise was moving us on I had a pleasant buzz in my system and Pansy had her fishnet clad legs wrapped around Blaise’s waist as he gave her a piggyback through town.

“Rock city?” I asked, raising my eyebrow at Blaise as we joined a swiftly moving queue.

“Yep. They have an event going on and I got us tickets cause there’s no fucking way you guys are gonna miss this,” Blaise grinned as he let Pansy down at a glare from a particularly hulking bouncer.

“Why are you so excited Zabs?” Pansy questioned as she composed herself, despite the fact that she was obviously approaching drunk if not already there. Lightweight.

“Just trust me,” Blaise grinned and Pansy and I glanced at each other. ‘Trust me’ were not words you ever wanted to hear coming out of Blaise Zabini’s mouth, but we shrugged and let Blaise drag us inside the side room filled with people dressed in ways that made Bellatrix look presentable.

A band entirely made of girls was stood on the stage fiddling with instruments and then at a thumb’s up from an oddly familiar red haired drummer the lights cut out and music began. Blaise nudged me as a blinding light fell on the stage and I felt anticipation build. As the introduction began I recognised the sound of Fire by Sleeping with Sirens and I braced myself for someone to fuck up the intro, but then the lights flickered off and on again and a girl was centre stage as if she’d apparated, her voice ripping into that first note deliciously and making my toes curl at the sound of her voice.

Transfixed I felt Pansy pull me backwards out of the way but my eyes were fixed on the girl. Her voice was so familiar and so good and my eyes roved over her appearance as my lips moved to the words. Her dark curly hair was dreaded and pulled into two messy buns with dreadlocks hanging out at the front and her lips were painted black. Casting my eyes down I realised she wore a fishnet leotard over the top of a black band across her chest that just covered her modesty and a pair of shorts that cut off at her mid-thigh. On her feet she wore black ankle boots with what looked like a 6inch heel covered in spikes and just above her left boot I recognised a very familiar Gryffindor crest tattoo. The sight of it, surrounded by roses sent a jolt through my core as I remembered lovingly biting into an ankle that held the same design.

“ _Sometimes they say this should feel something like fire, 'til it burns you and you can't, you know you can't remain the same, stay the same, stay the same, stay the same, I can't change,”_ As her voice ripped into the chorus I looked at her face again and my mouth dropped open.

“Zabini…. That’s Granger right?”

* * *

**AN: I’m ahead on chapters currently so I’ll be trying to post twice a week (I will stick to it this time) and the chapters are about 1000 words each. It’s a short not so sweet fic this time, maybe 20K words tops.**

**Let me know what you think in the little box below constructive criticism is always appreciated too… also prior warning, I’m going into this with absolutely no plan so the actions of the characters are their own ;)** **No Beta so shout out any errors you see and I'll get on that. Thank youuuu**

**Hope you enjoyed xx**


	2. SUGAR, HONEY, ICE AND TEA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not mean enough to leave you with only one chapter to sink your teeth into for the next 48 hours... so here is chapter two....  
> Although, maybe it will cause more questions than answers ;)

**_ CHAPTER 2: SUGAR HONEY ICE AND TEA _ **

****

**** _Don’t move a muscle,_**

**_No, we can’t have a struggle_ **

**_But the situation is in control_ **

**_So play pretend that it’s all good**_ **

****

* * *

Granger’s set had been amazing so far. She’d followed ‘Fire’ up with ‘Arise’, ‘Chasm’ and ‘I’m so sick’ by a band she called Flyleaf. I hadn’t expected her to be able to scream either but scream she did and fuck I was impressed. After a short break where Granger worked the crowd as if she’d been doing it years, her band started the intro to Bulls in the Bronx by Pierce the Veil and my eyes widened. It was not an easy song, but then she was breezing through it, her eyes lighting on mine once or twice as Blaise and I arsed about in the mosh pit. For the Latin part of the song Granger further impressed me by grabbing up a mic’d up acoustic guitar and joining in with her guitarist as she bounced about on the stage evidently enjoying herself.

Her final song was a semi duet with her bass player as they jumped into ‘King for a day’ and I laughed as I remembered how the words had touched my soul just after the war and still touched me now.

“ _You told me think about it well I did, now I don’t wanna feel a thing anymore. I’m tired of begging for the things that I want, I’m over sleeping like a dog on the floor_.” My lips moved along to the final chorus with her voice as I ducked out of the centre of the muggles and back to Pansy’s side. “ _We’d rather die than live to rust on the ground. Shit.”_ At the final noise of the song, the lights flickered off and on again and the stage was blank, the occupants of mere moments ago having evidently disapparated now I knew who their front woman was.

* * *

“Holy fuck Blaise,” I gasped as we spilled out of Rock city into the street when the next band proved to be shit.

“Holy fuck indeed, Granger got hot,” Pansy smirked at me and I rolled my eyes.

“Pansy think with your brain please,” I said with a roll of my eyes.

“I’m just saying, I wouldn’t mind getting between those thighs,” Pansy continued and I choked at the image that polluted my brain, then I wiped it away before a blush could rise up my face.

“Unfortunately Parkinson, I don’t swing that way,” A lazy voice said from a doorway to our right and we turned as one to see the golden girl herself sat cross legged in the doorway nursing a cigarette and a glass of what looked like neat whiskey.

“Jesus Granger-,”

“Shush,” Granger made a slicing motion with her hand cutting off my speech and then the keyboard player appeared in the doorway.

“Aura, you okay? These guys aren’t bothering you are they?” The girl asked and I forced myself not to do a double take at the name.

“Nah, they’re old school friends Kody,” Granger said with a smile. Pansy’s eyebrow raised at the use of the word friend while Blaise only shoved his hands deeper into his pockets.

“Cool, well we’re nearly done then we’re heading back to Penn halls before the after party.

“You’re staying in Penn?” Blaise questioned, his eyebrows raising on his forehead as he analysed the witch we thought we knew.

“Yeah, G block. After party’s in the common room if you want to come,” The Kody girl said with a grin towards us, then she looked at Granger with a panicked look.

“Erm Aura… You got a lighter?” Kody asked and Granger only grinned up at the girl before clicking her fingers and lighting the girl’s cigarette wandlessly. Her eyes grew round as saucers as she glanced to us. “Aura!” Kody warned but the girl on the floor only smirked before she pointed at us.

“They’re not muggles,” Granger said with a smile as she stood up. In the heels she wore, her eyes were almost level with mine.

“Gr-,”

“Aura,” Granger cut in and I felt my eyebrows lift as I noticed that for the first time, her eyes weren’t their usual brown, they were grey.

“Do you finish all your shows like that _Aura_?” Pansy cut in.

“Yep. The Deathly Hallows is a five woman band that appears like magic and disappears the same way at the end of the set. Keeps people on their toes,” Granger or Aura answered simply.

“And the ministry of magic is fine with that?”

“Rock city is owned by a wizard and the muggles that come here like the trick, there are trap doors in the floor so it’s believable,” Granger said with a smirk. “What the ministry doesn’t know won’t hurt them.”

Throwing her spent cigarette, Granger beckoned us inside the doorway and we crowded into the small dressing room.

“Right. First thing’s first. Do not address me as Granger around this crowd. I work fucking hard to keep my academics away from this side of my life. No, Potter and Weasley do not know about me and I haven’t spoken to them in six months anyways. When my eyes are grey, it’s Aura, when they’re brown we can go back to Granger, okay?” Granger’s strange grey eyes were wide and searching and I glanced at Zabini and Pansy who shrugged and nodded at me, telling me they were okay with this madness if I was.

“Okay Aura. But I reckon we should probably catch up for a coffee when we’re all sober,” I answered. Granger grinned at me and then tilted her head to one side as she looked at us.

“Do you smoke?” Granger questioned softly to Blaise and Pansy and Blaise smirked at her.

“Oh Granger… We routinely hide from our mothers in a cloud of haze,” Blaise said indicating me at the same time with a devilish grin across his face. Pansy bit her lip as she looked at Granger.

“I’m picky about who I smoke with, so no,” Pansy said truthfully and Granger only shrugged.

“No one is going to force you, it’s all up to you what you want to do,” Granger said then Kody returned to the room.

“Everything all good Aura?” Kody questioned and Granger nodded.

“Any sign of Loki, Frigg or Kable?” Granger asked as she gestured to the stuff that obviously belonged to the girls.

“Right here Aura,” Another lilting voice that I recognised spoke up and I almost choked on my tongue as Ginny Weasley emerged from another door arm in arm with Luna Lovegood.

“Who let the snakes in?” Weaslette said and Granger giggled.

“Snakes, meet our drummer Loki,” She indicated Weaslette who smirked at me “And bassist Kable,” She indicated Lovegood.

“Nice to meet you Loki, Kable,” Blaise said politely as the girls nodded.

“Is there anyone else we might know from school Aura?” I questioned as I nodded to the girls in turn.

“Nah, Frigg and Kody are new to the band, Loki, Kable and I met Frigg and Kody at induction week back in September. We needed keys and another guitarist so I could focus on vocals,” Granger said then she turned her head back to Weaslette. “Is Frigg coming?”

“Yeah, she’s just gathering her boyfriend I think,” Lovegood said softly in that musical tone of hers, and then I realised that softly spoken Luna Lovegood was able to do the screamo vocals for King for a day alongside Granger and my eyes widened as I took in the petite blonde.

“We’re here. Sorry!” Frigg burst into the room like a hurricane, dragging a guy behind her.

“Frigg…” Granger’s eyes roved over Frigg’s boyfriend and he groaned as if recognising the look.

“Go have fun with your witchy lot, I’ll see you back at home. I can’t promise Archie won’t have your space though,” The guy said then he breezed out.

“Witchy lot?” Weaslette sniggered as she looked at Frigg who blushed crimson.

“Is he a muggle?” Pansy asked bluntly and Frigg turned her attention to the three of us blushing furiously. Granger looked back at us and then a strange muffling noise filled my ears and I turned to Blaise and Pansy who looked as uncomfortable as I was, then the pressure lifted and I could hear again.

“Gr- Aura… What was that?” I growled.

“Just having a private conversation,” Granger said airily and I frowned at the back of her head before letting it go. “Meet you at G block in Penn?” Granger questioned as she gripped her bag and guitar.

“Meet you there Aura,” Blaise smirked and then he gripped my arm and twisted us through blackness.

* * *

**AN: A little bit of a ‘let’s set the tone’ chapter, but what do you think about this so far. What on earth is going on with our favourite Golden girl?**

**Please reviewww**

**Hope you enjoyed xx**


	3. MANTRA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey, I did promise one in the next 48 hours... Actually I might give you the next one too ;)

**_ CHAPTER 3: MANTRA _ **

****

**_**And I know this doesn’t make a lot of sense_ **

**_But do you really wanna think about yourself now?_ **

**_All I’m asking for is a little bit of faith_ **

**_You know it’s easy to believe**_ **

****

* * *

We appeared with a quiet pop inside Blaise’s room and I let out a breath.

“Some warning would have been nice Blaise,” I groused under my breath

“I thought me gripping you would be enough,” Blaise shrugged as he shook off the effects of an alcohol induced rough apparition.

“Not that… Granger,” I said quietly.

“What’s wrong with Granger?” Pansy asked, her eyes raking over me suspiciously and I growled as I walked away towards my bed and plopped down in a manner that would have my mother screaming if she saw.

“We… erm, we had a thing in eighth year,” I mumbled, looking away from Pansy.

“I fucking knew it! Pay up Zabini!” Pansy crowed as she danced on the spot. Blaise scowled but slapped a £20 note into Pansy’s outstretched hand.

“Don’t skimp on me, this is muggle money,” Pansy complained, pouty slightly.

“Yeah well we’re in the muggle world. If you wanted galleons, you should have waited to ask until we were in the wizarding world again,” Blaise grinned and I couldn’t help but laugh, a sudden light-heartedness spreading through my chest.

“He out Slytherin’d you Pans, accept it,” I smirked, then regretted it when it brought their attention back to me.

“Explain now Malfoy,” Pansy glared and I rolled my eyes casting my mind back two years to the Christmas of eighth year.

“Granger and I shared the head dorms, and I got to liking her music tense, hence how I got here, but we had a lot more in common and then one night we got high and one thing led to the next. We had a secret thing for most of eighth year until Weasley suddenly found time for her again, end of story.” My voice was slightly sharp and I knew that it would tell both Pansy and Blaise exactly how much it hurt but it was in the past, or I hoped it was.

“Does she know she broke your heart?” Pansy asked, her arms crossed in front of her chest defensively, black cat claw shaped nails tapping ominously against her wand and I felt a swell of emotion towards the witch. I hadn’t seen Pansy since eighth year when she disappeared off to France, but she was already prepared to fight my corner.

“No, it wasn’t supposed to be more than fucking to deal with NEWT stress… and she didn’t break my heart,” I said responded, sweeping my hair out of my face with a lightly shaking hand.

“Okay mate. You sure you’re okay to go to her after party?” Blaise asked as he finished pouring us glasses of Firewhiskey and handed them around. Smirking into the depths of my drink I shrugged before knocking it back. It couldn’t hurt to try and stay on top of my buzz now could it.

* * *

Granger was impatiently waiting outside her dorm building when we walked around the corner and Blaise waved one hand in the air to get her attention. At the sight of us Granger flashed a small nervous smile, her impatience fading away as she met us halfway and led us in the direction of the common room which was already thrumming with heavy guitars and screaming vocals.

“Aura,” I said, one word of greeting and Granger grinned at me as she pulled me into the darkened room.

The room was circular and someone had managed to bring a strobe light into the room which flashed in time with the heavy beat and in the area closest to the door was a table filled with every type of alcohol the muggle world had to offer. The middle of the floor was reserved for people moving to the music and Granger dragged us through the middle and deposited Blaise and I on an empty couch near Weaselette, Lovegood, Frigg and Kody and some of their other admirers.

Blaise pulled Pansy onto his lap and before I could blink I found my arms full of a Granger who now wore the tiniest of tartan mini-skirts, knee-high boots and a crop top that was supposed to zip shut at the front, only it was undone enough to expose her ample cleavage. Her dreadlocks now hung around her shoulders loosely and when I looked over her shoulder I saw Ginny grinning at me. Turning my head so that I could see Blaise’s face but not be seen I widened my eyes in shock, he only winked back at me.

“Aura?” Kody’s voice came from our left and I turned as Granger reached out and took hold of a joint, slipping it between her lips with a quick smile. As she inhaled I watched her eyes slide to mine and I remembered how good she used to look getting high when we shared a bath. Granger held the smoke in and gave me a blinding smile before she placed the joint between my lips. As she exhaled I inhaled, savouring the taste, whoever had bought the weed did a good fucking job.

* * *

Blaise wasn’t next to me that much I could tell. The room was dark and hazy and it felt like my vision was swaying slightly. The only clear thing in the room was the witch on my lap and how she was now straddling me as we shared a cigarette.

“Aura?” Lovegood’s voice came from my periphery and I blinked owlishly as she came into focus.

“Hey Kable,” Granger said with a smile as she turned to her. The girl was fucking hypnotic.

“Is Malfoy gonna be okay with you in his lap like that?” Lovegood asked and I cast a light non-verbal and wandless clearing charm on myself.

“He’s-,”

“I’m fine Kable,” I said with a grin and Granger turned to look at me with curiosity in her eyes.

“A clearing charm?” Granger questioned and then she smiled at me, that blinding smile that got her the world from me if she asked for it.

“I believe, you were always attracted to my mind Gr-Aura … I’d prefer to stay sharp,” I smiled as I accepted the joint from Lovegood. Granger watched me with a smirk in her grey eyes as I breathed in a toke, then her fingers clutched in my the hair at the back of my neck and her mouth was on mine, breathing in my exhale of smoke as her lips touched mine gently. Granger broke away and I watched her breathe out the rest of the smoke and felt a shiver rock through my body.

“Malfoy?” Blaise’s voice clawed down the fog of my renewed high and I looked up at him.

“Blaise?” I questioned, trying to seem unaffected but he could tell I was almost too far gone.

“Hey mate are you good?” Blaise questioned, concern marring his features, but I just nodded.

“He’s fine Zabini,” Granger said but Blaise ignored her and fished around in his pocket for something before he leant forwards and caught my wrist.

“When you’re ready to leave I’ll have set up a screen and a silencing charm in case you bring a guest,” Blaise said with a wink. With a chuckle aimed at his antics I shook my wrist, realising the circular band of metal would take me home when I’d passed a certain point, and it would do it without me gaining the attention of muggles. It was something we’d started using during our gap year between Hogwarts and uni after one too many close run ins with an obliviation squad.

Blaise sauntered away pulling Pansy with him who looked angry at something but then my attention was stolen by the goddess in my lap.

“Aura suits you,” I mumbled as I pulled her closer, my lips ghosting along her collar bone.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, you’re fucking hypnotic witch,” I breathed, looking up at the witch through my lashes. Granger smirked down at me and began to run her fingers through my hair.

“What did Blaise put on you?” Granger crooned as she rocked her hips into me, the movement almost invisible to anyone who was watching us.

“An automatic portkey when I pass the point of stupidity or just a portkey if I decide to go home,” I answered simply as I let my fingers ghost down her spine.

“Doesn’t Blaise trust me?” Granger whispered and I laughed as I looked up at the vixen in my lap, my eyes alighting on the flushed colour of her caramel skin.

“Blaise trusts you as much as he believes he could beat you in a duel,” I smirked and Granger smirked back down at me.

“Do you trust me?” Granger whispered, before she pressed her lips to mine.

“Evidently,” I gasped, my fingers clutching at her tiny waist.

“Come with me then,” Granger whispered before she flicked my mouth open with her tongue, tangling it with mine and I felt something small and hard dissolve on my tongue but instead of questioning it, I swallowed as we broke apart to breathe and then pulled her mouth back to mine while she smirked like the devil reincarnate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So, some of you might not like my Hermione at this point. But I’m actually having so much fun writing a Hermione who has sort of gone completely spinning off the deep end.
> 
> This is what it is to write Fanfiction! We get to play in the worlds created by minds more amazing than ours and distort it however we like ;)
> 
> Please leave me a reviewwwww
> 
> Reviews help me write more
> 
> Enjoy x


	4. BLASPHEMY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do so love being able to post the chapters quickly when they're already mostly written.   
> Just a head's up. This story is complete now. I'm just editing the chapters so I'll be sticking to a 48 hour is release date and I'll release two chapters at a time. Please leave some reviews on what I do have available though because I am, as I said, still editing.
> 
> Enjoy xxx

**_ CHAPTER 4: BLASPHEMY _ **

**__ **

**** _You got hell to pay but you already sold your soul_**

**_It's blasphemy_ **

**_But the words don't make sense no more_ **

**_What would your mother say, your faith has you immured_ **

**_So don't try to tell me that you still believe_ **

**_No don't preach to me**_ **

****

* * *

****

“Draco?” Blaise’s voice pulled me from the depths of sleep and I groaned as I turned away, throwing an arm over my face as the light hit my eyes, only to regret the sudden movement instantly as the bed span.

“Salazar I’m gonna be sick,” I hissed and not a second later I had to lean over the side of my bed as I threw up into a bin Blaise conjured. It felt like my insides were burning as I chucked up and acid continued to bubble from my mouth. Then it stopped and I collapsed against the sheets, not quite caring that I was half naked and semi exposed until Pansy poked her head around the divider and I jerked back trying to cover myself. I paid dearly for the sudden manoeuvre as my stomach roiled and I heaved into the bin.

“Merlin, are you okay?” Blaise questioned as he banished the contents of the bin as I fell back on the bed. It was only when I tried to move again that I realised my left hand was caught above my head and wouldn’t move. Pansy snickered along with Blaise when we all realised we were staring at a pair of red knickers that had been expertly crafted into a set of handcuffs.

“Looks like someone bedded Granger last night,” Pansy snickered and I glared at her as I wandlessly released myself from the binding.

“Maybe,” I breathed as my head pounded harshly.

“What do you mean by maybe?” Pansy asked dangerously, her eyes narrowed as they took in my probably bedraggled appearance.

“I mean the last thing I remember is something dissolving on my tongue when Granger kissed me,” I snapped before groaning as my head pounded. “Blaise if you ever want to claim the spot of my best friend again, you need to get me a hangover potion.”

“Coming right up, I have one here... I figured you'd need it this morning,” Blaise grinned and he handed over the blue potion.

Just as I put the cork to my teeth to pull it Pansy’s voice whipped out.

“Wait! You said something dissolved on your tongue?” Pansy asked panicking suddenly and I paused, removing the vial from my teeth to fall back on the bed since sitting up required too much effort.

“Yeah... I’m assuming it was a drug of some sort because I remember fuck all after that kiss,” I growled as I gritted my teeth against the throbbing in my skull.

“How long was she kissing you for?” Pansy asked, fingernails tapping against her cheek as she tried to puzzle something out.

“Ugh how am I supposed to know,” I moaned, and then I had to throw myself over the bed again as my stomach emptied itself again. Pansy’s nose wrinkled and I groaned as I banished the mess and cast a charm to clean the air.

“Draco… Let me in?” Pansy said and I groaned knowing what was coming. I didn’t really have anything to hide from Pansy, she'd been my closest friend during the darkest point in my life, but I didn’t really want Pansy to see Hermione.

“Why?” I asked evasively.

“Because if you take a bog standard hangover potion when a certain drug is in your system, it _will_ put you in St Mungo’s. You need something to counter it first,” Pansy said waspishly, seeing straight through my aversion and I sighed. If she was right, I had no choice. The last thing I needed as an ex-death eater was to arrive in St. Mungo’s due to drugs because I wanted to hide my fling with the wizarding world's golden girl. Biting back any more complaints I created a gate in my natural occlumency shields and met Pansy’s eyes.

Pansy grimaced and then entered my mind with a soft murmur and I relaxed as she moved gently through the haze of my memories. For a while it felt like she was just drifting through nothing until she came up against a weird purple haze in my head and blew it away after a second of hesitation, bringing my memories back to me in a rush. With a gasp Pansy pushed through the memories of Granger fucking me until we were back at the party, freezing on something I hadn’t even noticed. As we analysed the memory I realised that Kody was placing a small little E pill in the centre of Granger’s tongue, not long before she then kissed me. Pansy withdrew from my memories and waved her hand to Blaise.

“He can have it,” Pansy said. “Then someone needs to obliviate his memories from my head.” Pansy’s face was twisted and I smirked at her.

“See something you didn’t like there Pansy?” I questioned as I knocked back the potion and instantly felt better.

“Just the whole depraved night, she’s got a bit of a dirty mouth on her doesn’t she,” Pansy smirked and at that I accioed my wand out and cast a light obliviate, pulling my memories from her head without further ado.

* * *

I hated hangover potions. They were brilliant short term, but you had to take several throughout the day until you knew your hangover had passed and right now, my hangover was returning in the middle of my 2 hour law lecture. Casting a silent notice-me-not charm, I grabbed my belongings, slipped out of my seat and disappeared into the hall where I placed my hands on the wall and breathed carefully, trying to keep my breakfast in my stomach.

“Draco?” Clenching my eyes shut I tried to shake what had to be a hallucination, but then the voice was accompanied by a light hand in between my shoulder blades and my eyes flew open and landed on Granger and this time her eyes were brown. Her dreadlocks were styled conservatively, but her eyes were still lined with black and her lips were painted a dark brown. When I looked down at her clothes, almost expecting to see her cleavage again I realised she wore ripped black jeans and a black corset coat that cinched her tiny waist. “Draco?” She repeated and I shook my head as I looked at her.

“Granger are you stalking me?” I asked lowly. But Granger shook her head immediately.

“No, I’m studying Law, have been since September,” Granger said with a smile and I rolled my eyes.

“How the fuck did I not see you?” I asked.

“Cause I’m not a bushy haired know-it-all here Malfoy,” Granger smirked and I rolled my eyes at her.

“You’re always gonna be a bushy haired know it all Granger, regardless how you style it,” I said gently and Granger shook her head indulgently as she held out a bottle of blue liquid labelled Gatorade.

“What is Gatorade?” I questioned. The bottle was only a little bit bigger than a large potion vial and as I glared at it I saw the outside shimmer and the glamour fell away to reveal it was in fact a hangover potion before the glamour reinstated itself.

“It’s an energy drink, a lot of people have advised that it helps after a rough night,” Granger said, a twinkle in her eye, then I remembered her stunt last night and I had to bite my tongue on my anger. Granger obviously saw my demeanour change and she held up her hands, she had always been able to read even the subtlest of changes in my body language.

“Now’s not the time for that conversation Malfoy,” Granger said warningly.

“I think it is Granger. I had no fucking idea-,”

“Not. Here.” Granger’s voice was sharp and when I opened my mouth to speak I realised she’d silenced me, wandless and non-verbal.

“ _When, where?”_ I forced the words into Granger’s head and she stumbled back against the wall, her control over my voice falling away in her shock.

“Um, after the lecture?” Granger mumbled but I was already shaking my head.

“Too late Granger, you realise I could’ve ended up in St. Mungo’s this morning if it had been something else? Do you know what that would have done to my life?” I glared. Granger swallowed and fiddled with a spot on her neck and I realised the crescent mark there most likely matched my teeth and I bit back a groan as I remembered how she’d cried out for me as I bit her.

“Fine, let me grab my stuff then we’ll talk,” Granger said then she cast a notice-me-not on herself and she melted back into the lecture theatre.

* * *

Seconds trickled into minutes and finally I heard a rumble as the lecture was clearly dismissed and I raised my head off the wall, clambering to my feet as the congregation of students began to leave the room and pour into the hall. Anger pulsed through me like it hadn’t in years and I cast a disillusionment charm before I saw her. When I caught sight of the little witch trying to sneak out between two taller boys I followed her at a disinterested pace, gradually catching up with her in the doorway to her flat.

“Boo,” I growled and Granger shrieked as the disillusionment charm fell away and I backed her into her kitchen. “Is this all a fucking joke to you Granger?” I growled waving my fingers at the kitchen door which sealed itself shut instantly.

“Malfoy-,”

“What Granger? What do you possibly have to say to excuse your drugging me, fucking me, abandoning me without even a goodbye, or maybe I dunno an explanation for whatever you drugged me with, then attempting to offer me a hangover potion as what a ‘thank you’ or an ‘apology’, before you deliberately opt to remain for the rest of the lecture when I said we needed to talk? What can you even say to that?” Granger’s eyes moved shiftily back and forth and I knew she had nothing to say. Then they flickered to grey and she straightened her shoulders and glared at me.

“It takes two to fucking tango Malfoy, if you weren’t game you should have said,” Granger spat but I growled at her, wanting to shake her silly.

“It only takes two to fucking tango when both partners know the fucking dance Granger,” I snarled.

“Grey eyes,” Granger said nastily but I slammed my fist onto the table.

“I’m not having a conversation with your fucking alter ego Hermione. I’m talking to you! I’m talking to the witch who fucking smacked me in the face in third year, the witch who fucked me six ways from Sunday during our eighth year! Not this dry imitation of her strength wrapped up in a neat little package of madness!” My voice echoed around the kitchen when I was done and Granger slumped back against the counter as her glamour flickered out of view.

“Okay… Okay… I. Let me drop my bag and we’ll go get a coffee,” Granger muttered softly and I nodded as I breathed through my nose heavily.

“We’ll get a coffee in the next five minutes yeah Granger? Not in an hour?” I said sarcastically, my voice dripping with acid and Granger blushed sheepishly as she snuck out the kitchen.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh naughty witch, naughty witch. When you actually lay it all out like that it looks bad doesn’t it… Maybe we’ll get some clarity in the next chapter…
> 
> Maybe.
> 
> Please leave a review,
> 
> I hope you enjoyed xx


	5. DROWN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So here we are again!!! Yet another chapter of madness inspired by the song Drown, the end of that song always hits me differently and it was the same today too.
> 
> Enjoy!!

**_ CHAPTER 5: DROWN _ **

**__ **

**_**It comes in waves I close my eyes,_ **

**_Hold my breath and let it bury me,_ **

**_I’m not okay and it’s not alright,_ **

**_Won’t you drag the lake and bring me home again**_ **

****

* * *

****

Granger arrived back in the kitchen from her room, dressed a little less conservatively than she had been for her lecture, but still appropriate for the middle of January.

“Starbucks?” Granger questioned and I just raised my eyebrow as I led the way out of the flat and across the courtyard to the entrance to the student dorms. Once on the main road I pulled her into a small alcove and then disapparated with her, appearing in an apparition point in the centre of Nottingham, not too far from Rock city.

Granger’s hand felt small and foreign in mine as we walked across Nottingham hand in hand, looking for all the world like a young couple. Oh how wrong they’d be if someone thought that. Ever the gentleman though, I held the door for Granger to enter the shop first and led her gently to a booth at the back of the shop.

“What do you fancy?” I asked.

“Caramel latte?” Was Granger’s soft reply and I nodded, strolling over to get our coffees.

* * *

When we were sat with two steaming drinks in front of us, I waved my fingers through the air gently.

“Muffliato,” I muttered under my breath, feeling the privacy spell settle into effect then I looked at Granger expectantly. “So?” Granger’s eyes widened as they met mine and I saw her gulp before she attempted to take a sip of overly hot coffee. “Granger… not 7 hours ago I have reason to believe you were riding me, begging me to fuck you harder, where’s that bravery gone now?” I asked crudely, my voice unintentionally dropping an octave and I could only smirk as Granger’s wide brown eyes flickered up to mine with a frown.

“You remember that?”

“Pansy unlocked my memories for me. Sometimes she does the kindest things,” I said sarcastically and Granger just nodded.

“I… I’m sorry,” Granger mumbled and I raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry, what? I could give a better apology when I was four and I was a notoriously prideful child with a lisp,” I snorted. Granger’s eyes flashed as she glared at me but I waited, watching her eyes cool as guilt took anger’s place.

“I’m sorry Malfoy,” Granger repeated and I nodded.

“You gonna explain what’s going on with you?” I questioned after a few minutes of silence.

“What do you mean?” Granger asked dumbly and I sighed.

“You know what I mean Granger. What the fuck’s happening with you? Where did Aura come from, why are you taking Ecstasy? Why… why did you fuck me again?” My voice was calm when I finally questioned her and for that I was glad, I had no intentions of telling her what she did to me when she went back to the Weasel.

Granger ran her fingers through her dreadlocks and sighed heavily as she mulled over her answer in her mouth.

“Did the screaming ever stop Malfoy?” Granger asked suddenly and my eyes snapped up to hers.

“Yeah, for a little while, then it came back but it’s quieter now,” I answered truthfully. Almost three years on from the war and I still occasionally woke up screaming and my brain was definitely screaming at me when I spent time in the Manor.

“Why did it come back?” Granger asked, cocking her head to the side but I shook my head.

“This isn’t a Malfoy tell all special, this is a Granger explains what the fuck she’s doing session,” I said with a ghost of a smirk as Granger pouted, then she stared into the bottom of her coffee quietly and I couldn’t help but think that she was beautiful.

“The screaming never stopped. It didn’t stop when I played music to scream with it, it didn’t stop when _I_ screamed with it. The screaming stops when I’m her, when I’m high as a fucking kite and can go for hours. The screaming stops when I’m with you,” Granger admitted. “I haven’t spoken to Harry or…or Ron in 6 months because they can’t deal with me. Ginny and Luna keep me in line to some degree, but then we slip into Aura, Loki and Kable to escape for a few hours each evening,” Granger continued.

“Why do Weasley and Lovegood need to escape?” I asked quietly as my finger absentmindedly collected foam from the edge of my cup. Granger seemed to hesitate and I looked up at her.

“It’s not my place to share that,” Granger said softly and I nodded understanding.

For a few moments both of us drank, lost in our own thoughts as I tried to drown out the screams of cruciatus curse victims.

“Granger… Does… Did Weasley stop the screams?” I asked softly and Granger’s eyes flicked up to mine, holding my gaze as she considered me for a few seconds.

“No,” She breathed.

“Then why did you leave me? I mean I know it was supposed to be just fun… but I know you found the necklace I was going to give to you.” Granger’s eyes flickered up to mine at this and I let out a dry chuckle. “I warded everything in that room from the jump, but when I realised you’d seen it I went to find you, but you were with Weasley and he was gushing his heart out to you and you just nodded.”

“He was easy,” Granger breathed honestly and I looked up at her in shock.

“And what was I, hard to get?” I asked, remembering how little Granger had to do to get me into bed.

“No. I mean…” Granger took a deep breath and the bit her lip, a sure sign she felt guilty for something. “Ron was easy to be with. Everyone expected us to fall together and then when I wasn’t in pain all the time I thought I was getting better and thought we could have the idyllic life. I was wrong and I hurt you, myself and Ron in the process,” Granger said quietly.

“So what happened last night?” I asked. “Was that a blast from the past for you?” I bit out despite trying not to.

“No it… I don’t have an excuse or reason for last night other than I was high Malfoy. I was giddy that you’d come to see me, that you were enjoying what you heard. Then I was tipsy when I was talking to you. Then I just got high and let Aura take charge,” Granger hung her head in shame and I watched her, rolling my next words over in my mouth as I watched the damaged witch and wondered if she still wanted me that way, wondered whether I could be enough for her.

“Hermione… Will you go on a date with me?” I asked softly, my hand catching hers were it was clutched around her mug. Granger’s eyes flickered up to mine in shock and her mouth hung open.

“You’ll catch billywigs like that,” I smirked and Granger shut her mouth with a snap.

“Why?” Granger asked and at that I just laughed.

“What do you mean why?”

“I mean why the fuck do you want to date me. I quite literally just told you I’m fucking mental, I have a whole other personality and get high as a fucking kite and do stupid shit on a regular basis. How does _any_ of that make you want to take me on a date? Not to mention the fact I drugged you and then proceeded to shag your brains out. Is this the problem, did you leave your brains on your bedroom floor?” Grangers indignant voice made me chuckle and I just watched as she morphed into some of the girl she had been.

“I want to go on a date with you, because my feelings never changed,” I admitted then I grimaced at her “And I know you’re only like this cause you’re in a really shit place and I want to help,” I said shrugging.

“Well has it occurred to you that the best way to do that might be from the position of a friend?” Granger questioned, her tone scathing and I just rolled my eyes at her avoidance of my admission.

“Granger you _have_ friends, that’s what Weaselette, Lovegood, Potter and your bandmates are. The last time we tried to be friends, it ended with me balls deep inside you on the rug in front of the fire, across the back of the sofa, then against the wall between our bedrooms and finally the floor of my room,” I said, using my fingers to tick off all the places I’d brought her to orgasm that first time and delighting in the blush on her face. “So maybe I’ll just be upfront this time. I want to date you. We can go as slow or as fast as you desire or not at all, but I don’t think I can be around you if that’s your choice.” Granger’s face blanched at my final words and I snagged her chin forcing her to look at me. “Hey, that’s not me trying to force your decision, this is just me being honest with you and myself for once.”

Granger sat back and looked at me, her eyes were haunted as she watched me, and then gradually they cleared and I raised an eyebrow as I awaited her decision. Her decision came as she leant across the table and pressed her coffee flavoured lips to mine. My hand came up of its own accord and I gripped the back of her neck, holding her to me. When she broke away she had tears in her eyes and I rested my head against hers.

“Don’t let me drown Draco,” Hermione whispered, quoting song lyrics to me and I shook my head, knowing what she meant

“ _I’ll drag the lake and bring you home again_ ,” I sang quietly before we separated and I was rewarded with a blinding smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking madness am I right? He’s a glutton for punishment evidently…
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the madness of this chapter, I hope you’ll meet me back here for the next one,
> 
> Also we’re jumping forwards about two months next chapter
> 
> please leave a reviewww xx


	6. OH NO!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick reminder that I'm jumping forwards 2months :)  
> Brace yourself :D

**_ CHAPTER 6: OH NO _ **

**__ **

**_**_** **_No we're not on the level, you're just off your face_**

**_It's not a state of mind though, your head's just in a state**_ **

****

* * *

“Knock, knock,” Blaise’s voice wafted around the screen and I blinked groggily into wakefulness, pulling the sheet up over the slender shoulders of the witch next to me.

“Yeah?” I called out and Blaise’s face appeared the other side of the screen.

“You have an owl from your mother…,” Blaise said with an apologetic glance then he glared at me. “Did you even tell her you were moving out when you moved in here a month ago?”

“Why do I need to? I’m an adult.”

“Why is your mother such a cockblock?” Hermione asked me, snuggling into my side with a sigh, Blaise laughed as he chucked the letter to me.

“He’s been asking that question for years Granger,” Blaise smirked then his face was gone and I opened the note from my mother, snorting when I realised it was just a delicately worded order to return home. With a mumbled spell I set the letter on fire and let it levitate in mid-air as it burned.

“You probably should go visit your mother at some point,” Granger breathed next to me as I turned to face her. Her brown eyes were wide and her face was naked of the make-up she’d worn last night and I had never found her more beautiful.

“Meh, she’s trying to get me to marry a pureblood witch of her choice. Not gonna happen. Not when I’ve just got you back,” I whispered as my fingers brushed down her back, over her hips and to her bum. With a swift jerk I pulled Granger up against me and she grinned at me as I rolled her underneath me. “Especially not when you’re all I’ve ever wanted in a witch,” I breathed against the skin of her collarbone as I thrust into her warmth slowly.

“Draco,” Granger whimpered my name and I smirked against her skin as the fingers of my right hand tangled with hers.

“Salazar’s balls Draco, it’s called a silencing charm, learn to cast it once in a while,” Pansy’s acidic voice rose over the screen. In response I smirked at Granger before I bit her on the neck dragging a moan from her as I set a torturous pace.

“Fucking disgusting,” Pansy snarled before the door opened and slammed shut. With a true grin at Granger I watched as she cast a silencing charm with a wave of her fingers before she wrapped her legs around me and I lost myself in the enticing witch beneath me.

* * *

“Harry and Ron said they’re coming to the gig tonight. Harry wants to support Ginny,” Granger said matter-of-factly as she laid outfits out on her bed to choose from and I glanced up at her from the text book I was studying.

“And how do you feel about that? Do they know that you are the front woman?” I asked, a frown marring my features in concern.

“I don’t think Ginny has told them,” Granger muttered as she waved her wand at the outfit on the bed and admired it on her body in the mirror. She was wearing a leather leotard this time, the zip down low enough to expose the red bra she wore underneath and I fought the jealousy that wanted to rise inside me. Her long legs were clad in leather trousers with chains artfully hanging off them and on her feet were a pair of platform boots covered in buckles that reached her knees and raised her height by about 2 inches despite the fact they were flat. Looking at her face Granger waved her wand and her eyes were lined in black again, her lips decorated with a red lipstick that shone like blood against her dark skin and her dreadlocks were pulled up into a high ponytail.

“Come here,” I commanded and Granger turned to look at me with a smirk.

“See something you like?” She asked as her eyes flickered to grey.

“I want Hermione for just a few seconds longer… please,” I breathed, holding my hand out to the witch and smiling when the grey warmed back to smiling brown. When she placed her hand in mine I pulled her in and kissed her. “You look so fucking delicious,” I whispered as we broke apart and Granger smirked.

“Well maybe if you’re good for Aura she’ll let you peel it all off tonight.” At that Granger’s brown eyes flickered to grey and I smirked before I kissed her again.

“Okay… I’ll play… for tonight.” Sometimes I wondered if I was a masochist or just a glutton for punishment.

* * *

“Hermione!” Potter’s voice pierced the quiet night in shock after the show and both of us turned to see the black mop and glasses of Harry Potter appear in front of us. Behind him trailed the Weasel and his sister who was saying something furiously to him.

“Not now Harry,” Granger said quickly.

“Why are your eyes grey and why are you with Malfoy?” Potter asked, his eyes flicking up to me quickly.

“A lot changes in 8 months Harry. Since you couldn’t ‘deal’ with me, I separated that side of me. Aura has grey eyes and screams and does all the reckless shit you disagreed with,” Granger said snidely as she inhaled from the cigarette I passed her. Potter looked sheepish and I felt sorry for him for a second then I remembered how he’d left Granger to her own devices and I felt anger fill me.

“I’m sorry ‘mione,” Harry said quietly as Weasley came up next to him.

“Grey eyes Harry, this is Aura,” Weasley said softly and then smiled at Granger in a way that made me instantly uncomfortable. This was the man who had stolen my girl once before and my drunk brain wanted me to get mad, but Granger’s hand in mine held me in place.

“Hey Ron,” Granger said softly and for a second her eyes flickered to brown and then back to grey.

“Great show… I didn’t know you could sing like that,” Weasley said softly while Potter nodded emphatically next to her. Granger smirked but said nothing else.

The awkwardness of the meeting was cut short when Pansy and Blaise bounded up to us. Checking their eyes I groaned when I realised they were already high on something, which meant I’d be looking after Pansy in about 2 hours.

“Ready to go?” Pansy questioned and I nodded as I pulled Granger under my arm, ignoring the look shared between Potter and Weasley.

“Let’s go celebrate Aura,” I grinned into her hair before she twisted us away into blackness.

* * *

“Harry you don’t fucking get it!” Hermione’s voice cut through my haze and the music and I looked up suddenly to see Hermione arguing with Potter who was being held back by an angry Weaselette

“Draco try this,” Pansy’s voice was loud in my ear and I turned to her, my eyes alighting on the joint in her hand.

“THIS IS ME!” Granger screamed and my attention was pulled to Hermione again only to find Pansy suddenly in my lap with the joint between her fingers.

“Pansy… what?” I gasped and then I choked as I inhaled the joint unintentionally as Pansy stuck it between my lips. I easily detected the weed, but underneath it was nightshade, a potent hallucinogenic in the wizarding world. “Fuck Pansy,” I gasped as the room melted and my vision resorted to colours.

* * *

“Malfoy?” Slowly the colours came back into focus and I became aware of Pansy passed out across my lap, her feet in Blaise’s lap. The room was filled with multicoloured smoke and I shook my head to try and clear it. “Malfoy?” The voice said from my left and then they uttered a charm and I gasped as my head broke the surface of my high.

“Salazar’s balls, warn a guy when you cast a clearing charm, shit,” I panted as the room span sharply into focus.

“Malfoy, where’s Hermione?” It was Potter’s voice, I realised and I turned to look at him angrily.

“I don’t know. Last check you were arguing with her in a corner,” I snapped.

“She came back over here after that, she got mad when she saw Pansy in your lap,” Potter insisted and I groaned as I stood up shakily. It wasn’t fun to suddenly be torn out of a high like that.

“I’ll go find her, can you keep an eye on Pansy and Blaise for me?” I questioned. Potter nodded I began to head in the direction of the toilets.

“ _…fuck Ron,”_ The voice floated to me when I entered the hall where the toilets were kept and I headed in the direction of the voices. The voice was familiar to me but I couldn’t place it, until I pushed into the men’s bathroom and my vision snapped into rough focus. Because there against the bathroom wall was Ron Weasley with a woman’s dark legs wrapped around his waist and his trousers round his ankles. I was about to leave in disgust only to stop when the woman spoke.

“God Ron, harder please,” She panted and my eyes alighted on her face.

“Hermione?” Her name hissed out between my teeth in a shredded gasp and grey eyes opened to fall on mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Ducks heavy objects as you throw them at my head*
> 
> Er…. Sorry????
> 
> I did say he was a glutton for punishment right? Come back and maybe I’ll have put it right? Maybe….
> 
> Please reviewwww :D xx


	7. OUCH

**_ CHAPTER 7: OUCH _ **

**__ **

**_**I know I said I was under your spell,_ **

**_But this hex is on another level,_ **

**_And I know I said you could drag me through hell,_ **

**_But I hoped you wouldn’t fuck the devil**_ **

****

* * *

> _“God Ron, harder please,” She panted and my eyes alighted on her face._
> 
> _"Hermione?” Her voice hissed out between my teeth in a shredded gasp and grey eyes opened to fall on mine._

* * *

**“** Draco?” Granger moaned my name as Weasley continued to fuck her and I backpedalled quickly, slamming into the door before I could actually escape. In my panic I lost all semblances of control and my magic burst out of me and flung the door open. Weasley dropped Granger at the noise as he turned to me while Granger was shaking her head as she sat on the floor, then her eyes found me again and she brought her knees together. Before I could register anything else I was through the door and trying to get back to Pansy and Blaise. When I got to them they were awake and alarm flashed across their faces as they spotted me.

“Draco… what’s going on?” Blaise questioned as he grasped my shoulders, and it was all I could do to remain on my feet as Pansy came up in front of me but I couldn’t see her. My brain was stained with the image of my girlfriend being shagged against the wall by Weasley and I had to swallow the tears before I fell apart in the middle of the room. Clutching my face to make me look at her Pansy entered my head with very little preamble only to stagger back out when the image hit her. Pure fury sparked across her face and she held her wand out to Blaise suddenly who took it with a frown before she marched off. My eyes followed her and watched her intercept Granger half-way to me, grabbing her by her hair and dragging her backwards out of the common room.

For a second we stared in shock and then we all moved, Blaise dragging me by my wrist as he hurried to get to wherever Pansy had dragged Granger. We didn’t have to go far to find that Pansy had dragged Granger into the women’s bathroom.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Pansy screamed at Granger, her fist knotted in Granger’s dreads as she pressed Granger against the wall.

“I don’t… what?” Granger stammered, her eyes flickering from brown to grey and back again rapidly, a sure sign she was losing her grip on her magic, but where normally I’d have rushed to her side to help, I felt locked in my head.

“Colloportus,” Blaise hissed at the door and I heard it lock shut.

“What do you mean by ‘what’ Granger, are you that fucking high that you can’t tell the difference between platinum blonde and red?” Pansy snarled, her fist clenching at her side.

“Parkinson back off,” Potter spoke up just as Granger’s hands moved to clutch at her head.

“I’m gonna be sick,” Granger gasped and then Pansy released her as Granger fell against the sink and threw up bright pink liquid.

“Oh fuck no,” Weaselette groaned as Kody moved towards Granger suddenly.

“What? What the fuck has she had?” Blaise gasped and I was unable to help the concern that flashed through me as I watched Granger throw up again and this time it was blue.

“Too much of everything,” Lovegood said quietly as she pushed past me, her wand slipping from a holster she wore on her thigh that was glamoured to look like a chain garter.

“Is that why she was fucking Weasley?” Pansy snarled from where she had taken a protective stance in front of me. Weaselette’s mouth dropped open as she finished tying Granger’s hair up and then she looked at me aghast.

“She wouldn’t have known what she was doing Draco, she lo-,” Weaselette started but I sliced a hand through the air before pushing my hair back off my face.

“If you value my sanity, don’t you dare finish that sentence,” I choked out, speaking for the first time since my world was thrown off its axis. Silence reigned after my words, broken only by the sound of Hermione retching as this time she vomited blood.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Lovegood gasped as her wand began to move in complicated patterns, runes appearing in the air over Granger’s body, landing on her forehead, chest and roughly where her liver would be.

“What the fuck possessed her to do this much?” Kody asked in an undertone to Frigg as the girls lowered Granger to the floor when she stopped throwing up.

“What can I do?” Potter asked, suddenly speaking up. Any response was cut off by a sudden banging on the door and silence fell as we looked at each other almost weighing up who could perform the best memory charm, because if a Muggle burst in here, we wouldn’t be able to leave them with the memory.

“’MIONE I need to talk to you,” Weasley’s voice echoed into the room and I felt all eyes land on me before they rested back on the door.

“Let him in Potter,” Frigg ordered, her motherly tone brokering no argument. “Malfoy hold your temper.” I glared at her.

“How would you fare in his shoes?” Blaise questioned, his voice harsh, but Frigg ignored him.

“For her,” Frigg stated.

“Let him in Potter, but keep him the fuck away from me,” I conceded as my eyes passed over the woman on the floor.

“Ron, get in here,” Potter called as he unlocked the door, locking it behind Weasley when he entered the room. Without preamble Potter cast a clearing charm on Weasley and we watched him blink into focus, then his eyes landed on me and he smirked as Blaise stepped in front of me.

“Aura’s amazing wouldn’t you agree Malfoy,” Weasley poked and I clenched my teeth together trying not to react.

“Ron!” Weaselette’s voice was sharp and he looked towards her only for horror to splash across his features as they alighted on Hermione lying on the floor, her eyes rolling back into her head as she jerked softly in Frigg’s arms.

“What?” Weasley spluttered stupidly but Frigg glared at him.

“What did she have when she was with you?” Frigg asked, cutting straight to the point. Weasley frowned but then his face cleared and he held up a little bottle of red dust and Potter growled at him as silence fell.

“You gave her Dragon dust?” Potter snarled.

“I didn’t give her shit, she had it on her and pulled me into the bathroom to share it mumbling something about Malfoy being out of it,” Weasley said hotly and I felt guilt claw my insides.

“Shut up! That doesn’t matter right now, she needs to go to St. Mungo’s, I can’t deal with this,” Lovegood suddenly commanded.

“What why?” I asked, suddenly as Ginny and Kody made to lift Hermione off the floor.

“Dragon dust, nightshade and Firewhiskey can make for a lethal mix if you take too much,” Lovegood answered, all business and then with a final sympathetic look Luna disapparated with the girls leaving Blaise, Pansy and I alone with Potter and Weasley.

“Ron…” Potter’s tone was a warning but Weasley ignored it as a wide grin worthy of the devil fell on his face.

“It’s essentially your fault that she fucked me then,” Weasley stated simply and I gritted my teeth against the urge to smash his head in.

“Shut up Weasley,” I growled.

“That’s not the first time I’ve stolen her from you either is it Malfoy?” Weasley continued and slowly red painted across my vision as my brain screamed at me.

“Draco ignore him,” Pansy said quietly, her face imploring me to just walk away. Weasley watched my face carefully as Potter pulled at his shoulder then he grinned cruelly, spoiling for a fight.

“She was still so tight for me too,” Weasley smirked causing shouts to fill the bathroom. “Wonder what that says about-,” My fist connected with Weasley’s mouth before I knew what had happened, but it felt so glorious to lay into him, letting out the pain as my brain screamed at me.

* * *

Two pairs of hands gripped me and pulled me backwards off Weasley and I came back to myself with bloody knuckles as Potter enervated Weasley on the floor. Weasley’s nose was broken and gushing blood and his face looked pulverised, broken in several places.

“Draco, Draco stop,” Pansy was begging, her face streaked with tears as she pushed me back onto my arse

“Pansy?” My voice was confused and then I became aware of Blaise’s hands that were vice-like on my wrists where he held them behind my back.

“Get him out of here,” Potter said quietly and I looked at him as the black haired man waved his wand over Weasley’s face, mending it carefully.

“Do we need to expect trouble?” Blaise asked, his voice gravelly in his stress.

“No. If work finds out he’s been taking Dragon dust on a week day he’s fucked,” Potter ground out as he siphoned the blood off Weasley’s face with his wand. “Plus, if I’d found Malfoy with Ginny like that, I’d probably have killed you,” Potter added, before those green eyes met mine, anger blazing in their depths.

“Let me go Blaise,” I muttered and then the hands were off me and I stood to my feet. The next second I was in my shared room and finally I allowed the pain to have me, dropping to my knees next to my bed as a choked sound rose through my chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say maybe… So I know Ron seems out of character from the books, but Ron always did have a crude tongue when it came to Malfoy... regardless this whole fic is out of character for everyone so I don’t mind too much. Please don’t kill me :)
> 
> We’re about to jump forward three months… fair warning.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter
> 
> Please review xx


	8. MEDICINE

**_ CHAPTER 8: MEDICINE _ **

**__ **

**_**Watch me take the wheel like you, not feel like you_ **

**_Act like nothing's real like you_ **

**_So, I'm sorry for this_ **

**_It might sting a bit**_ **

****

* * *

**“** Draco?” Pansy’s voice was soft in the sudden quiet as the screams of ‘Your Betrayal’ faded into the background as she pushed aside the screen. Sitting up I raised my eyebrow as the normally confident witch twiddled her thumbs.

“Pansy?” I prompted and she was silent for a few seconds more before she sighed and looked me in the eye.

“Granger’s back…” Pansy said quietly and I groaned.

“When?” I asked as I scrubbed a hand over the pale beard I’d grown in the three months she’d been gone. It was a beard born of laziness but it had grown on me.

“I saw her on my way here. Potter dropped her off in that muggle car of his,” Pansy shrugged.

“Cool,” I muttered then I lay back covering my face with my arm.

“Draco… are you okay?” Pansy asked as I felt her weight land by my feet.

“I’m fine Pans,” I muttered as I threw up an occlumency shield to hide the mental image of my ex-girlfriends legs wrapped around Weasley’s waist. Pansy was quiet for a bit longer then she sighed again. “Was there anything else you wanted?” I asked as I accioed my wand and moved to point it at the stereo.

“She asked how you were,” Pansy admitted as she caught my wrist and my eyes flew open and fixed her with a glare.

“I hope you told her I was just peachy,” I growled as I stood up, suddenly wanting to escape. Pansy watched me mutely as I grabbed my headphones and moved towards the door, flinging it open I turned back to Pansy. “I hope you told her I’m fucking fine and that I don’t care at all that it’s been three months since I caught her fucking her ex and she hasn’t even sent a letter to apologise.” I spat.

“I was in rehab,” Granger’s voice spoke from behind me and I felt all the fight leave me as I turned to see a naked faced Granger stood in the doorway. She’d put on a bit of weight in all the right places since I’d last seen her, but her face was pale and drawn.

“You can’t be here,” I said quietly. My fingers clenching on the door as I itched to slam it in her face.

“We need to talk,” Granger said after a few seconds and I just glared at her. Pansy slipped past me into the corridor and she pushed Granger into the room.

“You really do Draco,” Pansy said quietly and I just glared at her as she pulled the door shut.

Silence reigned as Granger stared at me until I had enough and returned the volume of my music to normal, snickering to myself when the lyrics of Pretty on the Outside blasted between us.

_“I just can't believe I fell, for such a blackened heart, you played me for a fool and used me from the start…”_ Closing my eyes I sat back on my bed, banishing the screen as I let my head fall back against the wall, trying to shore up my heart against anything she had to say. Granger lowered the music to a bearable volume and I exhaled heavily.

“I’m sorry,” Granger said and my eyes ripped open angrily as I stared at her.

“Not good enough,” I growled before I could stop myself. Granger’s shoulders collapsed in on herself and her fingers twisted the silver rings she wore nervously. With her voice devoid of make-up she looked more like the girl I’d fallen in love with than she had since her reintroduction to my life 5 months ago. Add to that the fact she was only wearing a simple black tee-shirt and ripped jeans and we could have been sat in the common room. Only we weren’t, and just looking at her brought back the memory of her and Weasley.

“I don’t know what to say,” Granger whispered as tears spilled over and dropped down her cheeks, but I held myself firm as I looked at her.

“I’m not going to give you the words, but ‘I’m sorry’ was what you said when you reinserted yourself into my life. Remember the little E pill you so lovingly shared? You said sorry then. How do you explain fucking your ex, who you’d already left me for once, in a bathroom, while high on fucking dragon dust?” My voice was cold and emotionless and I was glad, because I didn’t want to give away another shred of myself to the witch in front of me, despite how prettily she cried.

“I… I don’t remember it Draco,” Granger admitted and I rolled my eyes.

“Well then maybe you need professional help,” I said harshly. Granger nodded as she wiped her face with her sleeve.

“That’s where I’ve been. I… Ginny and Harry put me in rehab,” Granger explained.

“Ginny… not Loki?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Ginny, not Loki. After the war I started taking dragon dust… it helped me get through the funerals and it made me feel good after everything that had happened. Harry found out and told me I had to quit if I was going to get through my last year of Hogwarts, so I did but then when Ron and I broke up,” I closed my eyes against the harsh image in my mind’s eye and I heard Granger stutter. “Well I started using again and Harry walked away from me and I stopped again, the girls were always careful to make sure I didn’t have dragon dust at our parties… I don’t even know how I got it that night. When I woke up in hospital a week after the OD Harry told me he couldn’t enable it anymore and I needed proper help. Ginny told me what happened and I just… I’m just so sorry,” Granger whispered her silent tears no longer silent as she stood in front of me, tears shaking her body and the carefully constructed wall broke as I stood, approaching her slowly before I pulled her into my arms and held her tight.

Granger broke down against me, her hands clutching in my shirt and I just held her, guiding us down to the floor as I tried to ignore the fact that Granger wasn’t the only one crying.

* * *

I didn’t know how long we sat in the middle of the room clutching each other but eventually Granger began to pull herself back together.

“Granger… I think I need to leave you alone,” I breathed into her hair and I felt Granger nod against my chest.

“I know. I… I can’t keep hurting you it’s not fair,” Granger whispered brokenly and I shook my head.

“You need to heal Granger, you need to get better… and I can’t be here for you while you do it. It killed me when you left the first time… and now I… I don’t have it in me to be near you right now, or ever again maybe,” I said softly as Granger sat back and looked at me. Her brown eyes were bloodshot and still filled with tears as I spoke but I didn’t take the words back as I brushed my thumb across her cheek.

“I… I respect that,” Granger nodded as her eyes flickered between my eyes and my lips. With a ghost of a smirk on my face I pulled her in against towards me, cupping her face as I did then I pressed my lips to hers gently. Granger’s eyes fluttered open as I pulled away from her and her eyes searched mine. “I love-,” 

“Don’t,” I whispered. “Just…don’t please. You’re not allowed to say those words to me,” I said before I pressed another kiss to her lips against my better judgement. Granger’s fingers tangled in my hair as she kissed me back and before I knew what was happening I was hovering over Granger her legs wrapped around my waist as we breathed together.

Coming back to myself I pushed away suddenly, Weasley’s ugly visage filling my mind eye as I watched her. Granger sat up slowly, her fingers ghosting across her lips as she looked at me, then she stood up and made her way to the door.

“Goodbye Draco,” Granger said softly.

“Bye Hermione,” I muttered, watching her walk out my life once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An: God this chapter was so hard to write. I had to call on more than just the song prompt this time so I turned to ‘If I’m James Dean, you’re Audrey Hepburn’ and ‘Fire’ by Sleeping with Sirens, and ‘Your Betrayal’ by Bullet for my Valentine. I’ve been cheated on before, that shit hurts. So unfortunately guys it’s not going to be a quick fix and because I really don’t want to write any more sad Draco, we’re about to jump forward another two and a bit years. Hang on tight.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed
> 
> Please Review... 
> 
> Xxx


	9. CAN YOU FEEL MY HEART

**_ CHAPTER 9: CAN YOU FEEL MY HEART _ **

**__ **

**_**I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone_ **

**_I long for that feeling to not feel at all_ **

**_The higher I get, the lower I'll sink_ **

**_I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim**_ **

****

* * *

“Pansy are you ready yet?” I shouted, banging on her bedroom door on my way down the stairs of our shared house.

“Fuck off Malfoy!” Pansy shouted back and I rolled my eyes as I pulled my muggle suit jacket over my shoulders. It was graduation day and Pansy, Blaise and I would all be graduating. I’d found out eventually that Pansy was doing fashion management because she wanted to spill her fashion line into muggle world and needed to know how the muggle fashion business worked, Blaise had been doing accounting and I had chosen Law.

“Help me get this blasted thing on Malfoy?” Blaise questioned and I turned to him to see him trying to secure the green and gold triangle of material that draped down his back by hooking it under his tie.

“Have you spent so long in the muggle world that you’ve forgotten you’re a wizard?” I smirked as I called magic to my fingertips and secured Blaise’s colours with a casual flick. Blaise rolled his eyes at me and I laughed, dancing out of the way as he aimed to kick me. Standing in front of the mirror I arranged my hair carefully so my punk rock hairstyle appeared semi-formal and then used magic to remove a few unruly hairs from my cheeks.

“Parkinson!” Blaise roared up the stairs and I laughed when Pansy swore back colourfully.

When we were ready Blaise took my elbow and then looked at me seriously.

“You ready for this Draco?” Blaise asked and I frowned at him.

“It’s been over two years since you last saw her perform right? Are you gonna be okay?” Pansy asked, not mincing her words and I sighed. The Deathly Hallows were performing at the graduation after party and we’d decided we were going to go long before we knew who was playing, looking. My friends were worried that seeing her might be too much and I debated whether or not I should tell them that I’d seen her quite often from a distance this past year

“It’s been over two years Pansy as you said,” I said softly. Pansy raised an eyebrow at me as if telling me not to bullshit her and I sighed again.

“You’ve also not dated a single person, magical or non, since she walked out of the dorm room, despite how many you took to bed,” Blaise interrupted and I glared at him.

“Maybe ‘cause I haven’t wanted to,” I groused, remembering the girls I’d gone through to try and fuck Granger out of my system. It hadn’t worked.

“You realise I more or less saw her daily this past year right? I’m gonna be fine. Plus the healer signed me off six months ago,” I eventually said, waving off my friends concerns by reminding them that my psychiatrist had deemed me ‘healed’.

“Whatever you say Malfoy, let’s go, before we’re late.” With that, Pansy grabbed our elbows as I rolled my eyes at her audacity and whisked us away to the concert hall where our graduation was being held.

* * *

Blaise laughed at me as I knocked back a jaeger bomb, well used to them by now and Pansy grinned at me as I forced him to down his. We were in the student’s union, enjoying the graduation after party and I knew I was gonna miss my friends when they went to France for a year. Glinting on Parkinson’s ring finger was a simple engagement band and I smiled to myself as I remembered how happy they’d been earlier on when Blaise proposed as Pansy had chucked her pointed cap in the air. He hadn’t been so impressed when said pointed cap almost took his eye out but it would make for a good moving photograph to hang somewhere.

“Draco, we’re heading home, are you okay?” Pansy asked, her eyes bright as she looked at me and I grinned at her.

“Just don’t fuck on my bed,” I smirked at her and she just stuck her tongue out at me. “Believe me. Don’t. You’ll find out the hard way if you do,” I grinned, remembering the ward I’d set on my bed should those two ever decide to get adventurous. Waving to my friends I watched as they melted into the crowd before I began to move through the union, making my way up to the balcony of the main room where I could see the band setting up there.

With a curious eye I analysed the women individually. They were dressed much the same as they had been two years ago, but there was something in their faces that let me know that they were themselves for a change. Frigg and Kody whose real names were Jessica and Kayleigh were laughing at something Luna was saying. Frigg had a few more age lines and grey hairs and I figured her little boy Archie would probably be in school now and Kody had cut all her hair off and now wore something I would wear if I was part of a band. With a soft grin, I wondered if Kody had finally adopted her stage name and her… or should I say his, true self. Luna looked her normal airy fairy self without the hard edge of Kable and Weaselette… Well she looked every inch the Mrs Potter that she was, not a hint of Loki in sight.

Ginny gave the usual signal and the room darkened as the music began. With a nostalgic smile I recognised ‘Fire’ before it even began and then when the lights came up with that first note Granger was in the middle of the stage singing her heart out and my eyes took her in greedily. I’d told Blaise and Pansy that I had seen the witch around quite often, but I didn't tell them that I had often looked away as soon as I’d seen her. In the crowded room now I knew I could actually watch her without fear of being seen.

Her dreadlocks were longer now and her face was more mature with age. Her make-up was slightly different from what she used to wear and she had added a series of new tattoos to her shoulders and upper arms, with what appeared to be a vine snaking around her right arm all the way to the tip of her middle finger. For a wizard who knew her wand was made of Vinewood, that tattoo was a nice touch.

***

There was something different about Granger’s voice as she sang and screamed this time. Something fuller and richer and I wondered if that was because the woman on the stage was actually Granger and not the piss poor imitation of her.

“ _I’m scared to get close, but I hate being alone, I long for that feeling to not feel at all, the higher I get, the lower I sink, I can’t drown my demons they know how to swim,_ ” Granger’s voice crooned the words to ‘Can you feel my heart’ and then suddenly her eyes pierced mine and didn’t waver once. Then the song broke down and she bounced about the stage screaming words that spoke to me in a way that I hadn’t been spoken to since I last saw her perform. At the end of the set Granger disappeared and I smirked to myself as I almost took a step to go and find her. Instead I forced myself to hold my position where I was until the lights came up for the end of the night.

* * *

“Draco?” Granger’s voice was hesitant as she called me when I finally stepped outside into the summer night.

“Evening Hermione… Where’s the band?” I asked politely.

“They went to a party,” Granger said shyly and I raised my eyebrows at her as we fell into step as I walked towards the apparition point.

“And you didn’t go with them?” I asked.

“I… I drink, but the parties are too much temptation… I’ve been clean for two years, four months and… 8 days,” Granger said with a small shake of her head. Raising an eyebrow I looked at her as we came to a stop.

“Congratulations,” I said softly as I took her in. Granger looked happy and I felt a rush of happiness that she was okay.

“Thank you,” Granger smiled as she looked up at me.

For a few seconds we stood and looked at each other until I cleared my throat.

“Do you have somewhere to be Granger?” I asked suddenly and I blinked as the words surprised me. I hadn’t expected to ask that and Granger giggled at my confusion. With a soft smirk I cast a quick clearing charm on my head to pull myself out of my tipsy state so I could think properly.

“I don’t, why, do you have somewhere we can go at… 4am in the morning?” Granger asked with a smile, I hadn’t realised that was the time.

“Well… erm McDonalds is always open,” I said with a sheepish grin. Granger grinned back at me and continued to move.

“You can buy me a maccies Malfoy, if you want,” Granger said looking back at me where I was stood dumbstruck and I chuckled, catching up to her quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I promise I’m done fucking about with these two now… I promise!!!   
> One more chapter to go to wrap it up, I’m getting a bit sad here... after all it was never meant to be a long story.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed,
> 
> please review xx


	10. MOTHER TONGUE

**_ CHAPTER 10: MOTHER TONGUE _ **

**__ **

**_**I didn't see it coming_ **

**_But I never really had much faith_ **

**_In the universe's magic (Magic), oh, no_ **

**_Till it pulled us to that time and place_ **

**_And I'll never forget_ **

**_When the floodgates opened, we, we cried an ocean_ **

**_It still has me choking; it's hard to explain_ **

**_I know you know me, you don't have to show me_ **

**_I, I feel you're lonely, no need to explain**_ **

****

In the bright lights of McDonalds I could tell that Granger was tired and seeing her now, I could see how much her screaming took out of her and it suddenly made sense why she had leant towards getting high as a kite to manage.

“How are you?” I asked suddenly as I dipped a few fries into a sweet and sour sauce pot. Granger’s eyes flickered to me and then away as she stole a few of the fries spread out on the cheeseburger wrapper I’d laid between us.

“I… I’m tired I guess. Final exams took it out of me, then I’ve been practicing with the band non-stop since,” Granger said and I just nodded sagely. Our final exams had been absolute murder.

“When do you move back home, wherever home is,” I questioned but Granger shook her head.

“I don’t know where I’m going to go yet. Harry offered me space at Grimmauld Place, but I turned him down. Weasley lives there with Lavender at the minute,” Granger answered, her voice tripping over Weasley’s name as she glanced away from me.

“Trouble in paradise?” I asked with no true bite and Granger rolled her eyes before she sucked down a gulp of my coke.

“There’s always trouble. It turns out he was fully aware of what he was doing that night and he was also in a relationship with Lavender… Their kid is two in a month,” Granger said, a sliver of anger slipping into her voice and I raised an eyebrow as I looked at her. “I haven’t seen him since that night and I don’t have any true memories of anything that happened,” Granger said quietly.

“What do you remember?” I asked, keeping my tone open as I questioned her.

“I… I remember arguing with Harry and then I saw Pansy in your lap and I couldn’t quite compute what I was seeing. I thought she was… well yeah… Then I just remember colours and sounds and then… your face, and your pain. It snapped me back from wherever I’d gone, but that’s the last thing I remember seeing,” Granger answered with her eyes glued to the table.

“You thought I was gonna get off with Pansy?” I asked incredulously, my eyebrows hiking into my hairline and Granger smiled sheepishly.

“I didn’t say I had any sensible thoughts that night Draco…”

“But Granger… Pansy? That’s like you fucking Potter,” I cut in and Granger cringed so hard I snickered.

“I went to rehab for 3 months and then I saw a mind healer once a week for a year until the screaming stopped,” Granger continued, twisting her rings around her finger and I nodded.

“I saw one too. It took me a year and a half, but then I had other issues to work through,” I said honestly.

“What other issues?” Granger asked before she could stop herself, then she snapped her hand over her mouth and blushed while I just chuckled.

“Well the screaming for a start. I had to admit that the manor was the root of a lot of my issues there. In the end Mother and I chose to give it up to be turned into a wizarding orphanage and primary school, and we moved into one of the smaller Malfoy properties. Then… I had to work on you and my perception of you,” I said to the table. Granger’s small hand covered one of my own and I glanced up at her.

“I can bear the truth Draco,” Granger said kindly and I nodded, flipping my hand over and playing with her fingers, twisting the rings there the way she did when she was nervous.

“You were my crutch Granger… To deal with the war. My healer said that for some reason I’d decided that if I was nice to you, it forgave all the bad shit that I did in my past, hence why you could stop the screaming.” Granger tried to take her hand back and I looked up to see hurt in her eyes as I held on. “Wait, you said you could bear it just… wait,” I huffed, holding Granger’s gaze until she nodded then I relaxed my hold and continued to play with the snake ring she wore around her middle finger. “Along the way I realised I loved you and how could I not. You’re strong, beautiful and powerful…your magic calls to mine, like for like. The feeling if I actually listen to it… even now it’s hypnotic,” As I spoke I released Grangers hand to the table and splayed the fingers of her right hand before I laid my left hand down opposite hers, our middle fingers almost touching. As I took a breath in I searched out my magic and as if to prove a point, a spark crackled between our fingers bouncing across the small gap rapidly before she pulled her hand back shocked.

“What was that?”

“Magic,” I smirked and Granger scowled at me playfully. “My healer said that I needed to forgive myself for the war and only then would I be able to see things clearly, and he was right,” I said, wetting my lips nervously as I weighed things up.

“See what clearly?”

“You,” I breathed. Granger blushed to the roots of her hair and then pulled one of her soft lower lips between her teeth nervously.

“I hurt you Draco. I hurt you so bad,” Granger whispered eventually and I nodded.

“Yeah, you did,” I answered, shrugging. “But now you’re sober, you might be more receptive to this,” I said with a soft smile before I entwined my fingers in hers, suppressing the shudder that rippled through me at the feel of her magic zinging across my skin.

“Was this always there?” Granger whispered and I smiled.

“Maybe…”

“Merlin, it’s divine,” Granger moaned softly, rolling her shoulders as she shivered delicately and I smirked at her, my thoughts travelling south immediately at the sound of her moan.

My eyes followed the line of Granger’s neck to where her coat obscured her skin before I raised my eyes back to hers and unlinked my hand removing the intoxicating feeling so I could think. Granger’s lips parted to say something but I shook my head, thinking. She was beautiful and when we were together we were good, we were fucking great. It would be nice to see what we ended up with when we weren’t high. Could we make it work?

“Hermione… I want this. I want you and I think I can trust you… one more time,” I admitted quietly and Granger’s brown eyes with blown pupils fell on me. “I think we owe it to ourselves to explore this without outside or chemical influence.”

“But… are you okay staying clean for me? I’m a bit of a stick in the mud nowadays.” Granger sounded shy and I moved around to her side of the table tucking one arm around her as I cupped her chin thinking about what I wanted to do. As the sun broke over the top of the clock tower and fell on Granger’s face I looked at her, noticing the gold flecks in her eyes that were only ever seen in the right light.

“Granger… If I can have you, I’ve got all the high I could ever need. Right here.” With a final smirk I pulled her close, swallowing her gasp as I slanted my lips over hers and savouring the zing of her magic where her skin touched mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: ANDDDDD it’s done. Please please please don’t ask me for an epilogue, I don’t have a clue what their future would be like and I sort of like the mystery of it. If you really want to know exactly the kind of feelings I was aiming for at the end there, go and play ‘I Love you’ or ‘Lovely’ by Billie Eilish and read from where Draco open’s up about Hermione being a crutch. I imagined it as a really sweet moment in the middle of McDonalds of all places haha!  
> 
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed
> 
>   
> please leave me a review xxx


End file.
